“…Oh the days dwindle down to a precious few”
My Favorite Month
OK I know the opening lyric is really to “September Song”, but I think it applies to October just as well. October has always been my favorite month of the year. The crispness of the air, the vibrant color of the changing leaves…HALLOWEEN! I have always been a Halloween person. When my husband, Ken, was transferred to a different city, we had to stay in a resident motel for six weeks while we waited to be able to get into our house. Halloween fell during that time. I decorated the motel room to the hilt. All the other residents of the motel came by to see what I had done. – And, of course, I handed out treats for Trick or Treat on the big night.
Growing up October had been full of the fragrance of burning leaves (after they had been properly jumped on). That was back before everyone was so worried about the impact on the environment. We would rake them up, have our fun jumping on them, then burn them next to the curb while we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Occasionally in the Fall I will catch a whiff of burning leaves and be so envious.
Wedding
My husband and I were engaged at Christmastime. When it came to setting a wedding date, there was no question but that it would be in October. We would have liked it to have been the thirteenth, but that date fell during the week, so we chose October 19th. Unbeknown to us at the time, Hallmark (or someone) had decided to invent a new Holiday: Sweetest Day. Guess what date they picked? You guessed it – the third Saturday in October, which in 1974 just happened to be October 19th.
I had pictured such a beautiful Autumn day. My bridesmaids wore floral dresses in shades of yellow, orange, & green fall prints and carried bouquets of yellow mums and other Fall flowers. The groomsmen all wore forest green velvet tuxedo coats. The church was decorated in fall colors and there was a spray of live Autumn flowers on the wedding cake.
When I left home to go to the church to dress, it was overcast and cold. When Ken and I emerged from the chapel as husband and wife – it was snowing. It made for some pretty sloppy looking wedding photos. The amazing thing is that for the next ten or fifteen years, it snowed every October 19th. At least in Michigan where we were married. It could be beautiful the week or even a few days before and I would tell my friends, “No, it’s going to snow on the 19th.” They would say, “Kitty, you’re crazy, it’s 80 degrees”, but without fail, when the 19th came around there would be snowflakes. Even if it was just one or two around midnight. Since Ken died, I haven’t seen snow on October 19th again.
For some reason, either to honor Ken and I, or just because they liked the season, too, my son and his fiancée decided to get married the day before our anniversary. Unfortunately, three years later they separated. Now it’s another date in October to be sad.
Fall Outings
Ever since Ken and I were married, we have always gotten together with our friends in the Fall. Some of the people in the group are Ken’s friends from grade school, high school, or college and their spouses. We started by going every year to the Indiana vs Purdue football games. We would sometimes caravan, or take the “official” tour bus, or rent our own RV and ride together.
As we got older we decided it was a little chilly to sit out in the late October or November weather, and decided that we would all go to a motel or resort somewhere and party while we watched the game on TV. Over the years we have gravitated to week-ends early in October rather than November.
For many years, we went to Toledo, making a stop at Tony Packo’s Hungarian Restaurant of M*A*S*H* fame. Ken used to love their combination dinners and strudel. After Ken died, our friends have been wonderful about including me in the outings. We have gone to Maumee Bay State Park in Ohio (still close enough to Tony Packo’s to stop there for lunch on Friday), the Indiana Governor’s summer house in Brown County, Indiana (one of the couples’ sons worked for the Governor), and most recently we have been renting a house at Silver Lake in Michigan. (Not Tony Packo’s, but lots of good food in nearby Saugatuck on Lake Michigan.)
I love our friends and I enjoy seeing and spending time with them, but it is bittersweet. The topic of conversation always includes Ken and I love reliving old times and hearing the stories from way back even before my time. The last couple of years, though, I have decided not to join them. Two years ago, I was seeing a guy that I met through our widows and widowers group. My friends told me to bring him with me to Silver Lake, so I did. Everyone liked him and he had a wonderful time, but I didn’t think he really fit in although it was nice to have a partner there.
We dated for a few more months, but in the end, I decided I wasn’t willing to commit as much time to the relationship as he needed. We broke up about a month before the Silver Lake trip last year. I was planning to catch a ride there with some friends that live not too far away, but they were not home and were leaving from somewhere else. I decided that I didn’t want to make the trip alone.
This year, the outing is this week-end. I was going to go (and drive myself), but the pre-school that I work for decided to schedule a trip to an apple orchard on the day I would be leaving. I love going to the apple orchard and my family looks forward to the cider and apples I bring home to make dumplings . Also, I am reluctant to go and spend the weekend without a partner again. I don’t want to lose touch with my friends though, so maybe next year.
It’s Different Now
In 2004 my first Grandson was born…on Halloween! I have kidded him that he stole my holiday, but we don’t usually end up celebrating both events on the same day anyway. It is different now, though.
October has lost most of it’s charm for me. Now it just seems like a rainy prelude to another unbearable Winter. I hate turning the clocks back to make it darker even earlier. To paraphrase Dylan Thomas, “Rage, rage, against the dying of the sunlight”.
There are a few good things about October. I like football, and apple dumplings, and I keep looking for a snowflake or two around midnight on the 19th.
How do you feel about the changing of the seasons? Do you have a particularly difficult season? I’d love to hear from you.
Until then…I’m Kitty Krouse